So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
