That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
