No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
