Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
