What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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