So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
