i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
