I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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