I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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