Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just googled if crying burns calories
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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