This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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