I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
