I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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