I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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