i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
