guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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