She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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