Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
