Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She announced her abortion via fbk
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
