Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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