Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
