Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You took a bar mat shot.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
