Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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