I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
