your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
