Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
