There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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