It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
