So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
