I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Also, beer. Big fan.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
