I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
