Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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