how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
