I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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