shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
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