Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
