Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
this will be a night to untag.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
