i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
