I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
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