Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
