It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
