he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
