i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
