Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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