he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
