You work out of a Hotel?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
