How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
