You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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