I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
