Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
