seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
