Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
