He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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