yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
