She's JV to your varsity
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
